Let's Talk About ... Attachment

We all have our individual attachment systems which become activated when we are under stress. when in a relationship, we tend to react to our partner's stress. One of the most common forms of attachment within a relationship is the avoidant-anxious couple where the pain of one partner draws in the other. The avoidant attached partner is drawn to how the other partner expresses how needed he or she is and carries the insecurity they both have. the avoidant partner becomes attractive because of the avoidant behaviour. they follow this pattern and avoid true intimacy because they are very insecure.

How does one handle this in a safe way? Make note of your emotional responses to stress. Be realistic and do not link stress to things that are not there. Talking therapy can help you recognise your attachment system and manage stress properly.  Your inner child can be worked on. A good Therapist can help you unlearn unhelpful patterns and replace them with positive patterns. Such work is painful but healing does take place eventually. Look at it this way... You are investing in your future relationships so you can have a happy and fulfilling intimate existence with your partner.  



Bowlby, J. 2014 John Bowlby and Attachment Theory (Makers of Modern Psychotherapy) Routledge

Gerhardt, S.  2014 Why Love Matters. Routledge

Bowlby, J. 2005 The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds Routledge


Self Care

Self Care is essential for a Therapist. Therapists can be affected by Compassion Fatigue (Secondary Trauma) or Vicarious Trauma. Feelings of burn out, irritability, hopelessness, feeling powerless and disillusioned can be detrimental for a Therapist. Take care of yourself. You can help your clients more when you have looked after your self. Good supervision, self care, well-being activities, networking with colleagues, stress busting activities to release endorphins could help. Let your health be your wealth.


Let's Talk About ... Autumn

Autumn is the time for renewal. It is an example of how beautiful change can be. The falling leaves, bare trees, the drop in temperature and the change of clothen.

However, after beautiful summer of positivity, autumn can feel a bit dreary and slow. If you need pick me up, be aware that good nutrition is important. This does not mean a "low calorie" diet - it means nourishing your body with natural ingredients (organic if possible) which will increase your vitality and keep you energised to generate heat in your body. Your serotonin is made in your gut so what you eat contributes to your mood - meaning, anxiety, depression and brain fogginess or being happy, feeling motivated and contented.

Also, get the remnants of the vitamin D in the sun rays as it supports hormone production which helps control your auto-immune and stress response.

Take up a hobby and include a bit of physical exercise. Do things to make you feel healthy and happy.

A few sessions of talking therapy might also help support you make sense of how your body is responding to the weather change. Take care of your self. You cannot live any where else apart from in your body. A healthy mind supports a healthy body. Let your health be your wealth!

Photo Credit: Forestry Commission Scotland


Let's Meet Dr Marilyn Allen

Marilyn Allen PhD is the director of Marilyn Allen Therapeutic Counselling. She is a Therapeutic Counsellor, as well as a Quantum Biofeedback Practioner using various Biofeedback devices in her Clinic. She is also passionate about Natural Medicine, using natural sources to affect well being holistically. She believes everyone can improve their health by relying on natural products and ingesting good healthy unadulterated food (natural is best) for instance, herbs, plant based foods and organic products. She also believes in the effects that well being activities have on the body, for instance, yoga, pilates, martial arts, meditation, exercise and being at one with nature (hiking, gardening etc). She advocates for letting your health be the most important part of your life.
Dr Marilyn runs her Clinic from North London and Central London. She can be contacted atwww.marilynallen.co.uk



Emotions and feelings are tied up with thought structures and belief systems which mould an inner working model in the individual. This is created by the care givers of the individual from infancy in the form of scripts, introjects and such like. Emotions matter. Understanding your emotions will help you understand your behaviour better, and impact on your practice of effective self-care. Love transcends all. Photo: A forest created by an Argentine farmer in memory of his wife. Love truly transcends all.

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Which Tomato Is the Healthiest? by Victor Marchione, MD


Adding tomatoes to that sandwich at lunch or to your salad at dinner is a great idea when it comes to protecting your good health. This is because tomatoes contain a rare red pigment called lycopene. Lycopene acts as an antioxidant by neutralizing free radicals. Studies have suggested that lycopene may have twice the cancer-fighting power of beta-carotene. And for men, lycopene seems to concentrate in the prostate, protecting this gland from cancerous tumor growth.

These days, when you go to buy tomatoes at the grocery store, you're likely to see more than just the humble red tomato. There are also yellow, tangerine and even purple varieties available for purchase. But are these colorful varieties just as nutritious as their red cousins? According to recent research, tomatoes don't have to be a deep red color to be a big source of healthful nutrients.

It turns out that the lycopene from orange- and tangerine- colored tomatoes may actually be better absorbed than the lycopene from red tomatoes. It all comes down to the fact that there are two different forms of lycopene: trans- lycopene (found in red tomatoes), and tetra-cis-lycopene (found in orange and yellow tomatoes).

Researchers in Portugal recently compared various tomato varieties and their key bioactive components. Here's a quick summary of what they found out:

-- A cis p-coumaric acid derivative was the most abundant compound in yellow (Amarelo) and round (Batateiro) tomato varieties
-- 4-O-caffeoylquinic acid was the most abundant in long (Comprido) and heart (Coração) varieties
-- The most abundant flavonoid was quercetin-3-0- pentosyl-rutinoside found in four tomato varieties
-- Yellow tomato presented the highest levels of phenolic compounds, including phenolic acids and flavonoids

The next time you pick up some tomatoes, grab some yellow tomatoes. According to this study, they have even more health-boosting phenolic acids and flavonoids than the red variety.’


Let's Talk About ... Celery

It is an anti-oxidant
It has high dietary fibre
It is a diuretic
It reduces bloating
It is very hydrating
It helps detox the liver
It contains 3-n-butylphthalide (BuPH) which helps lower cholesterol
It helps lower inflammation
It helps manage blood pressure issues
It helps protect the lining of the digestive tract from ulcers
It helps fight infections
It may help fight cancer




Let's Talk About ... Parsley

Let's Talk About ... Parsley


It helps promote hair growth

It helps manage halitosis

It helps fight inflammation

It helps fight arthritis and promotes bone health

It is a natural anti-biotic

It detoxifies the body

It helps maintain a healthy heart

It boosts the immune system

It helps in the management of diabetes because it contains myricetin

It contains apigenin and chlorophyll so helps fight cancer

It is affordable

It is easily to obtain

It can be used in salads, smoothies, cooked foods.





Let Us Talk About ... Depression in Adolescents

Adolescents, though may not demonstrate, are sensitive to stress, for instance, environmental stress and physical stress. When the family is going through issues, relationship rupture, self esteem issues, peer issues, bereavement and loss etc, children tend to pick up the stress yet some put on a brave face so as not to cause more stress for their care givers. If this is not addressed, it could trigger depression.


Depression could be down to


- genetic causes (predisposition to depression),

- biological - physical changes in the body

- psycho-social causes - bullying, manipulation, financial issues etc


Symptoms can be


- persistent impairment: when symptoms are everyday for at least two weeks

- severity impairment: when the sufferer is immobilised by the symptoms

- functional impairment: when the sufferer is not able to carry on with day to day functions/routines


For instance:

- tummy aches

- loss of interest in most social activities

- unmotivated

- clinging

- irritability

- sadness

- inability to regulate affect e.g. irrational thoughts

- sleep issues

- detachment

- possible self sabotage e.g. self medication, self harm

- food issues

- anxiety

- self esteem issues



Unhelpful things to say


- you are being too sensitive

- this is just a phase

- get a grip

- you are over reacting

- what now?

- I know how you feel...



Some Treatments


It is important to treat depression to reduce the rate of relapse throughout adolescence and in adulthood. It might help to identify stressors so that treatment is more effective.


- biological treatments - medication

- psychological treatments - individual/group/family therapy

- cultural/social treatments - school/community/family/ friends intervening


Do you feel your child needs help? contact us for a brief chat about your child's needs www.marilynallen.co.uk


Photo Credit: Kings College/Campfire Convention



Mufson l. & K. Pollak Dorta D. Moreau, M.M. Weissman 2011 Interpersonal Psychotherapy for Depressed Adolescents, 2nd Edn Guilford PressToner J.B & C.A.B. Freeland 2006 Depression, A Teen's Guide To Survive and Thrive. Magination Press

Treisman K. 2006 Working with Relational and Developmental Trauma in Children and Adolescents. Routledge

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Food For Thought

Food for Thought?


10 quick things to do to feed your brain -


1. Water.

2. Berries.

3. Polyunsaturated fats with Omega 3 and DHA like salmon, fatty fish like trout, seeds, nuts.

4. Cut out processed foods which contain unhealthy fats, sugars and additives like preservatives.

5. Dark leafy vegetables rich in minerals, vitamins and taste delicious.

6. Foods and drinks containing Tumeric.

7. Wait for this - Dark Chocolate!

8. Eggs.

9. Oranges.

10. Drink Green Tea.

Photo Credit: YasminBin



Loss/Bereavement can evoke very deep emotions in the sufferer. Such emotions can include:


- being easily irritated

- feeling lonely or alone

- going very deep into your own thoughts and having an existential crisis

- feeling anxious

- having confused feelings

- being scared

- sometimes relief that what you have lost is finally gone

- loss or increase of appetite

- lack of focus

- feeling rejected


If you have experienced a loss and are beginning to experience some of these feelings (it can sometimes take years for these feelings to manifest), do talk to someone, a professional or ring a Charity specialising in Counselling or Psychotherapy. They can support you in making sense of your feelings.


Let's Talk About ... Cholesterol

It is important to manage cholesterol levels as a preventative measure, especially, those who are predisposed to high cholesterol. As part of your holistic regime to well being, the onus is on you to manage/cut back on your LDLs by reducing or eliminating ingredients that increase LDLs in your diet.


Managing your cholesterol can be done by introducing some ingredients into your meals. These ingredients bind cholesterol with fibre and eliminate through the digestive system. Some of these ingredients contain plant sterols and stanols which block the body from absorbing cholesterol.





Butterfield, C., 2015. Lower Cholesterol: Reduce Blood Pressure and Stress (Life) Wilkinson Pub



Photo Credit: healthack, parkseed, cookinglight, louisana green, healthline, triumph dining.


When Quantum Physics Intersects The Field of Psychology

By Valerie Varan


The field of quantum physics has received a lot of attention lately. Perhaps you have heard the buzz, and are wondering what it is all about. And you may be pondering, “What does it have to do with psychology?”

Well, let me catch you up! In a nutshell, it all has to do with the nature of consciousness, and the way human predictions and measurements about the outcomes of experiments on subatomic particles, like electrons and photons, seemed to be influencing the actual outcome of the experiments. Not only that, it seemed to work both forward and backward in time! And, no matter how “blind” they tried to make the experimenters who were involved.

This started happening in the early days when scientists were experimenting to determine whether light was a thing or a no-thing, a particle (i.e. photon) or a wave of energy. What they found was that when they predicted it to be a wave, it turned out to be a wave. When they predicted it to be a particle, it turned out to be a particle. In essence, whether light showed the very qualities we associate with an “immaterial” wave, or those we associate with a material particle, depended upon us! The state of our human consciousness was influencing how light expressed itself!

In a worldview, where there is one absolute reality, and it is a material one, and only human beings think, that would be impossible. But evidently, it was not. It happened again, and again, and again.

Then, they tried to fool the light. They conjured up all kinds of ways to do so. They would have different people do different parts of the experiment so that whoever shot out the electron, let’s say, and got the experiment underway, wouldn’t know which outcome was predicted by a different experimenter. This is what is called making the experimenter “blind” to the experiment or to the outcome predicted.

They even tried to have a separate person predict the outcome, after other people had already run the experiment, and even those people were blind to the results. But still, it was generally hugely statistically significant, that if the “prediction” was for it to show up as a wave, it did. And if it was for it to show up as a particle, it did. It worked both backward and forward in time.

Then it got even weirder. What Einstein called that “spooky-action-at-a-distance.”

They were playing around with these subatomic particles again. And, I’ll continue to describe it casually like this, they took a couple of electrons from the same family, and separated them. They shipped one off to one part of the world, and another off to the opposite part of the world. But these tiny little particles were so connected with one another (scientists call it being “entangled”), that when the experimenters would do something to “move” one of the particles, its brother or sister particle would react at the exact same time.

Again, this was considered “impossible” because scientists only knew about electromagnetic energies at that time. The thing about electromagnetic energy is that, at its slower frequency or speed, it takes time and space to travel. So, if these spooky-action-at-a-distance or “nonlocal” effects were electromagnetic effects, it should have taken time at least for the communication waves to travel through space to its sibling. But it didn’t. The sibling always knew immediately whatever communication was being transmitted to it across the globe. And it danced in concert with its sibling, as if they were one entity, together in the same space!

It would seem, again and again, that these subatomic particles were conscious in their own way, would be aware of human thought or consciousness, and would dance according to the music of our intent! Nonlocally, across great distances, and in synchrony with their remote dance partners!

As you can imagine, this greatly divided the physicists. Some refused to believe these results were real. Some decided to play it safely and stick to conventional particle physics. But others, greatly daring pioneers we now call quantum physicists, chose to pursue this controversial and belief-shattering line of evidence and research.

They are my quantum superheroes. And I have been a groupie for over thirty-five years now. I have been trying to read what they find, as soon as I hear about it. And I have been synthesizing their research with what I know from other disciplinary consciousness studies and the field of psychology, and from what I have learned from ancient wisdom or direct experience.

Where are they now with all of this? There is too much to tell here. And I try to summarize it a bit more technically in my book Living in a Quantum Reality. But I will say that they are now researching these nonlocal and “magical” effects, and have begun to describe “torsion fields” as being correlated with those effects. I’ll simply let you know that, according to MIT physicist Dr. Claude Swanson, torsion fields are related to the left- and right-handed spin motion of subatomic particles and waves; they don’t seem to take any time at all to travel, and seem to be responsible for “impossible” but routinely documented experiences like intuition, telepathy, extrasensory perception (ESP), remote viewing, entanglement, clairvoyance, precognitive dreams, distant healing, and the like.

And, from Stanford materials scientist Dr. William A. Tiller’s work, we have evidence of a second layer of physical reality, one that is unique, and is of a different physics (i.e. of a different electromagnetic symmetry state) and can be influenced by human consciousness. The acupuncture system of energetic meridians and chakras seems to be associated with this different symmetry state, even when the overall body is not. He has also found that human consciousness and intention can condition a room or space, meaning it can change the physics or symmetry of the space in a room, and these effects last after the meditators have left the room and completed their experiment. This helps me explain to my clients...who comment that they feel an electrical current buzz through them when they walk into my therapy space, or that they feel they are using my energy to shift to other states of consciousness...and provide a technical basis for their experience. 

Dr. Tiller has shown as well that human consciousness and intent can influence even random event generator mechanical devices that are programmed to move randomly (like little robots). But scientists have also found that baby chick consciousness can do the same! For those of us who have wondered if we are influencing the lights, or the mechanical operation of the copy machines at work or our cars, perhaps we really are!

Many quantum pioneers are at work helping us connect the dots of our data. Dr. Edgar Mitchell founded the Institute of Noetic Sciences (IONS), and Dr. Dean Radin has done much research in the psi area of human consciousness. Dr. James Oschman has synthesized our understanding of the bioenergetic field of the body, and the underpinnings of energy medicine. HeartMath has provided extensive research on the biomagnetic field effects of the heart, compared to the brain, and its interrelationship with our bodily functions. Dr. Gary Schwartz has contributed to our understanding of how human consciousness seems to survive death of the physical body. Dr. Fred Gallo and the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology is helping us bridge this information to the field of psychology, while Dr. David Feinstein is working with APA to keep them abreast of these quantum developments and their applications to psychotherapy. Dr. Stanislav Grof and Dr. Charles Tart are two pioneers in the field of psychology who dared to study and document the various experiences in consciousness that are supposedly “impossible”, but for which we have much evidence. And there are so many more that I wish I could name.

You would be right if you speculated that there is still much debate going on among these multidisciplinary professionals. They still don’t have a consensus definition for concepts like energy, thought, mind or consciousness. Though I more recently heard Dan Siegel, MD define the mind in terms of energy and information, which I too had done.

In Living with a Quantum Reality, I do dare to define energy as power, traveling as waves at simultaneous yet distinct bandwidths of speed or frequency (including electricity, magnetism, and torsion). And consciousness, as spheres within spheres within spheres, like nested Russian dolls, of "energy-carrying-information". I further explain how it is the information, that which we detect through our experience and senses as qualities or characteristics, that distinguishes one sphere of consciousness from another; but how the unifying field of consciousness as a whole is the source of our sense of wholeness, may be the same as the quantum field of potentiality, and the very essence of the energy we call the God of love.

I love that consciousness has been found to be encoded with holographically-patterned, and unique energetic signatures of information. And no matter how small, each part of the whole has access to the information of the whole, nonlocally connected even beyond space and time!

So, there you are. Consciousness, it seems, is fundamental to our reality. Not bricks of matter, like is assumed by most scientists, including psychologists, today.

The way I like to summarize this more quantum pantheistic worldview and its relevance to the field of psychology is that the quantum field of potentiality (beyond the confining rules of time and space and electromagnetism) is brimming nonlocally and holographically with all possibilities of Divine creation. We can and do engage this field, whether we do so consciously and with intent. Or subconsciously and randomly.

When we engage with this cosmic field with intent, we (e.g. through the power of our laser-focused and loving consciousness) cohere or bundle energy into its particle form. Energy appears as matter. Wave appears as particle. This is the source of the mind-body-spirit connection, and our human capacity to co-create in our world. 

Conventional physicists act as if reality is a duality, having a wave nature distinct from a particle nature. Theologians too traditionally preach to us as if our spiritual nature is distinct from our physical nature, seeing God as separate from creation (though Jesus himself taught that the Kingdom of God is within each of us). Psychologists generally deny the existence of Spirit, and simply recognize body with its instinctual consciousness, distinct from the higher reasoning and abstract mind. It's time for at least those within the field of psychology to realize scientifically that it is all One Consciousness, appearing in many forms, visible and invisible to our perception, depending on our perceptual bandwidth. 

Psychotherapy as a professional will best serve each of us when it leaves the confines of the medical model, which for decades it has so exclusively embraced out of its psychological need to be recognized as a "hard science". And when it extends its own mind around the higher mental and spiritual realities, traveled by many,. Awakening-related experiences must be included in its scope as a helping profession. Yes, there will always be those who need medical care since they are struggling to maintain even normal human psychological well-being. But if even 5% of Americans are awakening to higher consciousness realities then that's 16 million of us who need a more quantum psychology.

Bottom line: The field of psychology needs to adopt the worldview of quantum physicists who tell us that we are actually consciousness as a field of energy and information at our core essence. For if the primary expertise of psychology is about states of mind and consciousness, then it certainly better know that these are essential in defining who we are, and what we experience as our fundamental reality.